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My terrible books

How terrible?

When I first started writing, I had submitted my first story—Thai Tranny Tales to many literary agents. Also I attached the ‘green dress’ photo which I preferred it to be appeared on the front cover. I tried to convince them to please believe me that as the ‘green dress’ photo had been voted for the popularity by posting on escort web sites, and with the results by receiving the numerous positive comments—the ‘green dress’ is hot & energetic, especially at this generation when people are concerned about using green energy. Moreover, meaningfully, it tells readers to know immediately (without lifting up my skirt) that this is a transgender book.

I have taken most of my photos by myself. I set my camera for fifteen seconds delay, then ran quickly to prepare a supermodel pose. And because of my being picky, some poses may have been taken more than a hundred times, just for an impressive one to be selected. The ‘green dress’ photo is one of the most difficult photos. I want all the ruffles on the dress to be (very) stretched. Moreover, some ruffles must also form a triangle point up to my bump, so that it will give a sense of having a strong energy surrounding it. During taking the green photo, some poses appeared as nice poses but all the ruffles were not stretched or the triangle wasn’t clearly appeared. Or what’s the most terrible was when my erection failed (which that half-hard-on photos could NOT be appeared on the cover because it was misconception and it showed a sign of powerless and weakness). Taking the green dress photo caused me sweat all over my body. Some times I need to take a few minutes rest as having too much energy dropped; it caused my face turned green as the dress.

However, sadly, no any literary agent has a good eye, sees good things of the green as I see. All rejected my submission with a reason on their replied letters that “after reading all your writings, I know that I am not a champion”.

As they rejected, it forced me to find other ways to publish my books because I don’t believe that to sell ‘Thai Tranny Tales’, I need to be a champion. I began with taking a class in creating a web site, then bought HTML books to study more on my own. Now I have three HTML and two Photoshop books. Somehow, the literary agents have taught me a good thing that doing things by myself I get learning a lot (when people walk away from you, they give you a chance to grow up; that I believe)—I will not be upset at all as if I fail, because the mistakes make me learn but I would be very upset for the rest of my life if I fail on hands of literary agents whom I trust their professions that they would have a good eye and would not lead me down.

Moreover, whatever ideas I have created from my own for my books, tell my personality. Male and female don’t choose the same favorite colors—and transgender is alike. The color choices and all my artworks you see on my web site and my books would tell you insight me better than they are created by others.

After my books have been published, I sent my books, ‘Thai Tranny Tales’ and ‘Midnight Life in Chinatown’, to a distributing company in Chicago. However, like literary agents, they denied distributing my books as—“subject matter, ” (but I don’t believe the “subject matter” is their real reason.)

And here they are—the books that all publishing industries don’t want—since I have published my books, ‘Thai Tranny Tales’ has been sold every month, followed by other books. Sales are growing up slowly. And now they begin to expand to UK market. Some bookstores also order my books—while, still, I am not a champion.



"Why Half-Lady Lisa?"

Another terrible thing my readers would like to question me curiously is the author name—‘why Half-Lady Lisa?’—for many people, the pseudonym seems unprofessional. ‘Why don’t I use the author name the same way as others with first and last name?’ However, in my idea, I think American’s names are often repeated. There are millions of ‘Lisa(s)’ and perhaps hundreds of thousands of them work as a writer. If I use first and last name like others, you will end up being confused that I am—Lisa Smith or Lisa Williams or Lisa Taylor, Lisa Moore, Lisa Garcia, Lisa Turner, Lisa Lee, Lisa Bennett, Lisa Griffin, Lisa Ross, Lisa Tucker, Lisa Burns, Lisa Rice, … ‘who is tranny Lisa who wrote Thai Tranny Tales?’ Finally, you buy a book written by Lisa (something) but thought that the book you bought is my book.

However, after searching for a domain name for my web site, including a user name for my email, I find that there is only one Half-Lady Lisa in this planet—no one has taken this name yet (and perhaps no one would want to take it). Once you read my name, it will be installed in your memory forever. In case, you have stopped reading my books for ten years then accidentally one day you find a book in your favorite bookstore which is written by Half-Lady Lisa, I am confident that you will immediately recognize who she is.

‘Why doesn’t the author name be, for example, TS Lisa, Ladyboy Lisa, Shemale Lisa, pre-op Lisa, …?’
It is because all these terms described male-to-female transgender have been used for long time all over the world. There might be thousands of TS Lisa or Shemale Lisa. Then again, you may be confused that actually my name is ‘Shemale Lisa’ who may write a ‘Brazilian Tranny Tales’ or is she a Chinese transgender author who may write a ‘Shanghai Tranny Tales’. Therefore, my pseudonym, even thought it looks unusual and unprofessional, will help my readers remember my name as quickly as possible and easily distinct me from other Lisa(s).



Grammar/Language

I hate reading text books.
Some men told me that they don’t like reading or they would read once only when they have to. When talking about ‘book’, it reminds them the boring times of their school years when they have to read (thick text books) to pass the exams. Language in the text books doesn’t have feelings, yet the depictions of the story are very serious. However, it has to be that way because the authors are worried about their languages would not make students dream too much otherwise students would fail the exams. However, some students still fail the exams because they sleep every time they read their books longer than five pages.

I don’t write text book and I understand why book critics don’t like the editing on my books. For people who are major in literature, good books in their opinions are based upon the writing and grammar rules they learn in their classes. They grade books the same way literary professors grade their works in the writing classes.

I never study in literature. I think people read a book based on the topic/story they like rather than strictly paying attention on the correct grammar. However, I understand that books should be perfect and language is a part of making a perfect book. However, there are different ideas of the perfection in writing between critics and I.

When I was a young kid, many times I had visited my grandparent’s house. I liked seeing the pictures of 1960’s Thai movie stars who were my relatives’ favorite stars, posted on the wall. I was too young to watch their movies. However, my relatives told me that in a movie, such as a famous actress was performed as a farmer, she still needed to wear fake, long eyelashes, full of makeup and beautiful dresses. No one would care of whether her look would appear suitable to her character because audiences didn’t want to see her in muddy dirt as a real farmer. The perfection at that generation was based upon the glamorous touch up by the professions.

In this generation, that idea is considered an old fashion. Audiences want to see a farmer looks real farmer. Even more realistic than that, the reality TV show is now introduced. Do you need to have a script for a person to be on the show to read? Do you need to redecorate his messy house, or rebuild a nice scene from a studio for the show? The perfection now is not based upon the script written by a professional screenwriter. Producer just puts cameras in the house (the house that the person lives every day), and he says without script.

Imagine—you are crazy a beautiful supermodel so you read her biography book. After first page, you look back the book cover to make sure her beautiful face is still there. Then continue reading. As you know a little bit about her background that her education is only high school, now you are curious how come—she writes so well? After you read five pages, you look back the cover again—now her face is looming. Then go back to read a few more page—now you are sure, she isn’t there anymore because she doesn’t write her own book. Every time you close your eyes, try to imagine her beautiful face but her voice through your ears is awake you—it is a voice of a male ghost writer!
If Van Gogh wasn’t the person who drew his pictures but he only told another artist how he wanted his pictures to be drawn, was his name worth for anything?

If you are dating an Asian girl, would you mind to hear Asian accent? If Thai Tranny Tales is written perfectly in high level of English, would you still see the images of Thai transgender in the stories, or instead, you see American transgenders who graduated in Ph.D.?

The grammatical error or non-English accent isn’t always negative. For example, the first time I had sex with an American man, I asked him—“do you want to fuck my asshole?” However, he laughed until his erection failed. During the time he was stroking his cock to regain his hard-on, he taught me that—“Americans say—would you like to fuck my ass, not asshole.” While waiting for his cock to be again fully functional, still I wanted to learn more from him by asking—“if I don’t put the word ‘hole’, do American men know where to enter? Do you see my tiny hole?” The grammatical error doesn’t always damage the story, however like my first fucking experience, it can help the readers laugh which should be in a positive way. Just like antique furniture, tool marks and crack woods are charming. Male and female have different accents—also transgender. Transgender’s accent is rougher than female’s but not as rough as male’s which is difficult for other genders to make it up.

What cause the language change?
Once in the college, in my English class, my English teacher said that once her daughter said to her—“my bad” and she didn’t understand. She said that it is incorrect grammar but now the word is popular amongst teenagers. What cause the language change?
When you hook up for sex online, if someone says—“Looking for tonite?”, do you understand what tonite means? Do you understand—what ‘how r u?’ means and what ‘str8 man’ means? And what cause the language change?
Have you ever noticed that now the drawer of a desk is shallower than the past? It is because it is designed for a notebook computer. As the technology’s development and lifestyle’s change in every generation, the design is adjusted appropriately for people’s needs.
Language is a kind of Art and also it has developed in every generation. As now people use computer, in the chat room, you don’t have enough time to write ‘tonight’, ‘how are you’ or ‘I am a straight man’, so the words ‘tonite’, ‘how r u’ and ‘str8 man’, as computer language, are replaced as they are understandable. That’s why dictionaries are needed to be updated their editions—some words are no longer used anymore, while new words are created. Who know—one day you may see the word tonite = tonight in a dictionary.

I think a good story-telling, the language should come out naturally from the writer. Imagine—while walking to your writing class, you encounter an unusual event. After walking in the classroom, while waiting for the instructor, without thinking how to begin your story, you tell your friends about what you just saw—then everyone laugh loudly. When the instructor comes to the class, he gives an assignment to write about ‘what interesting event you see today’ and he will give a grade base on your writing. Ten minutes pass, you still dabble, having a hard time to start the first sentence—write and erase, write and erase… because you try to write perfectly to get an A. Unlike when you tell the story to your friend, you have no pressure. When you finish writing, it doesn’t mean that the perfect grammar and the writing technique your instructor teaches you will help your writing funnier than when you tell your friends.

Emotions are gift from nature which they can help human writes perfect stories. When you are yelling someone with anger, the extremely angry emotion helps pushing bad words out naturally—how bad the words are depends on how angry you are. When you are calm down, the yell is softer as your anger is refrained. Professional editors can’t perceive the emotions depicting in the story because they never have the same experience as the authors. They do their jobs just because they want to get paid. Just like when you are angry someone, you hire a lawyer to sue that person. You tell your story to the lawyer angrily, but when the lawyer speaks in court, he speaks very calm because he doesn’t perceive how angry you are. He just takes the job to get paid.

I grade books different way from other critics. Good books, for me, readers must be able to perceive all the emotions contained in the story, whether they like it or hate it—and the most important thing is the author has to be the person who writes the story, not from a ghost writer.

If book reminds you about boring time during exams, my books will change your mind. Long time ago, I gave my book—Thai Tranny Tales to a construction man who book, for him, was his enemy. He left my book untouched for days in his house until one day he started reading when he really had nothing to do. After that, he has continued reading all my books. Now he keeps asking me, when does my new book come out, what the new story is about? He told me he becomes addicted to reading my books. Like the construction man, some men who came to visit me told me that they become a big fan of Half-Lady Lisa’s books. A few men asked me that does my book—The Psychological & Social Barriers Behind the Sexual Secrets of Straight Men, make them feel like reading a medical research? Lisa never writes text book. A man who had read it told me that he masturbated three times a day while reading it.



Length of the books

Some writers are proud of their books longer than 50,000 words, but for me the word count has no meaning to my writing but the intensity of the story.

I understand that in the past books are sold through only bookstores. People don’t need to buy thin books—they just find a quiet corner in the bookstore and take an hour to read it. In the future, this problem will not be a problem anymore because more people order books online.

Moreover, in the past people didn’t have much activity. Living day-to-day was a simple life. Women worked at home and waited for their husbands to come home so they had a lot of time each day to read long books. However, living today is different. Both husband and wife work (hard) outside their home. Moreover, more interesting activities/hobbies are created to entertain younger generations—reading books isn’t now only one of a few choices of daily activities. And therefore, times spent in reading are shorter and shorter every generation.

A hundred or thousand page long doesn’t matter for me as long as each page contains intense story. Have you ever read a book that if you skip ten pages, you are still able to connect the story? Or read three chapters but the story doesn’t go further. Some writers just want to make up their stories to meet 50,000 words so they add information that not involve with the story. By doing that, their stories will lose the intensity and waste time to read.



I love new ideas.

Many men, who came to visit me, often asked me—‘what’s new?’ So, I think people would like to see new ideas, new types of story rather than repeat what others have done for generations.

The “Dark-Side” of American Politics: Dog Talks is an example. Its political story is not presented the same way as other political writers have done for generations. As politics are serious issues, to balance itself, I turn the serious issues into a new, fun story. I don’t like reading serious topics which are depicted through a serious story because after reading I feel like my head is two pounds heavier. Telling political story directly isn’t difficult, like you watch every day on daily news. But changing political issues into a children book is challenger.


I don’t like reading ‘too-gay’ story.

'Too-gay' story I mean, for example, a gay man lives in a gay area. In the story, he has only gay friends. Then he falls in love with another gay man by hooking up together at a gay nightclub. Now, he enjoys his gay life by dating his gay boyfriend every day at a gay restaurant…

I love diversity in society. I think that now there are more people understand and accept homosexual lifestyle. Books should change way in telling gendered story. In my books, transgenders are parts of the stories which their lifestyles are mingled with other genders in society. Books should help people understand how each gender interacts together in society, rather than segregation.



Writing a transgender story to serve only for transgender readers and community isn’t a challenge.

Most people who read my books are heterosexual male and female and some crossdressers—and that is also my intention for target readers. Writing a transgender’s story to serve to other genders, I have to do a lot of research (and make up my mind of being unaccepted) of what points in transgender life are attractive to other genders.

There is not much transgender is interested in reading my books. It doesn’t mean I don’t want any transgender read my books or don’t care about. But I understand that each gender has different perspectives and interests in the depiction of the stories in different ways, although they are the same type of story. And therefore, I may have to give up transgender readers to take others. I believe that to help other genders understand transgender life, transgender books should be written to serve other genders.



Why sexual contents are included in young adult stories?

When I studied the first year in my high school, one afternoon a group of my transgender friends who we were studied in the same class told me that they were going to meet a teacher. They wanted to ask the teacher that—“is masturbation wrong doing?” With their ages, sexual emotion was existed and needed to be released.

I know that many parents try to control their kids to not see, hear and talk anything about sex before they reach eighteen. However, parents should also understand that sexual emotion isn’t an option—it is natural creation and it definitely comes before eighteen. I believe that sexual contents can be included in young adult stories in ways that they are a part of life.

Because people don’t talk about sex or hide it, people see sexual story as a special story, or embarrassing story, or it can damage a person’s reputation. A person who has sex a lot can have low image in society—so people try to not publicly put their life involve with sex. I include sexual contents in my books because when people see/read/hear it often, they would see sexual activity as normal—a normal story that people can discuss when they have problems about, the same way as they tell others that they make a haircut once a month, or shopping occasionally.

All of these are what I believe/think when I write my stories. I don’t care of what literary regulations are taught in the writing class and how other publishers do. I consider my books are my artworks. They are unlike science and mathematics which right or wrong has a clear answer based on the rules. I still write—with my own way.

If you have never read my books, why not try it once—start from Thai Tranny Tales first. Who knows—you may like my terrible books. For one who prefers to read discreetly, my books are also available for download.


© 2011, by ½ Lady Lisa. All Rights Reserved.