‘Mistress’ in my story does not mean a woman’s lifestyle of having secret sexual relationship with someone’s husband(s).

As having long experiences in spending time with many men, I am often called a ‘mistress’. However, men don’t call me that by the fact that I spend time with married men because some single men also call me mistress, if they are submissive.

However, I don’t think that every submissive man who often uses the term ‘mistress’ to call their sexual partners understands clearly who mistresses really are.

Because submissive men normally enjoy being sexually controlled and dominated, many of them often make a wrong choice by choosing an aggressive woman to be their sexual partners in the purpose of satisfying their sexual fantasy, then called her a ‘mistress’. However, actually mistress is not necessary to have aggressive behavior. Women, who normally behave aggressively, are fierce women, or generally known as a ‘bad girl’.

Mistress is not a bad girl. But what makes a mistress look like a bad girl is her unsweetened character. For instant, mistress rarely presents her softness which makes her look like a bitter person, rarely presents her romantic side and rarely (or never) responds to men who please her by saying such as ‘thank you, honey’.

However, actually mistress is a polite and romantic person—from the inside. She always says ‘thank you’ in her mind. Thai people use the term ‘Pak Nuk’ to describe this behavior; (Pak means mouth and Nuk means heavy): when her lips are too heavy, they are too slow (or unable) to move, especially when she has to say some certain words—means that saying romantic words, such as ‘thank you’ or ‘I love you’, in her mind is always faster and easier than speaking out. In her mind, mistress is a very kind person. Bad girls, in contrast, never thank anyone both by saying in her mind and speaking out because she is bad by her inborn characteristics.

Victoria Beckham is a mistress

As mistress normally hides her softness and romance from men, men keep pleasing and honoring her because they want to see the emotion hidden inside her. To see her smile and hear her romantic words are considered very special for men like waiting to see a flower that blooms in every ten year.

Mistress’ men are not bad boys but both share a common character as they love seeing the emotion inside women. However, the different are: first, mistress’ men love seeing the softness and romance hidden inside a mistress, but bad boys enjoy watching extreme aggression and frenzy from bad girls. Second, unlike mistress’ men, most bad boys are not submissive. Finally (and perhaps the most important), the way they treat women are different: mistress’ men always treat women with honor and respect, while bad boys often use bad ways to rile (or annoy) women to see aggression.

Tom Brady is a mistress’ man.

Both male and female have softness and aggression. Male generally presents out their aggression in use of defending and protecting their females, while softness inside them is used in attracting female. Female, on the other hand, generally presents out her softness to attract male, but she can be the most aggressive, such as when she is protecting her baby. Mistresses always use her aggression in the right way and right time. Bad girls, however, always show their aggression in bullying people.

Human’s emotions are like colors. Sometimes, men find that only female’s soft monotone (the softness) are too boring but the colors hidden inside her (the aggression) are hotter. Contrast colors emphasize each other which make women are more exciting and interesting like the colors of South America parrots.

Gisele Bundchen is a mistress.

I used to ask some men—“what men fear the most?” A man gave me an answer that because men are strong, they never fear of anything—but I think that isn’t true. Men fear the most is female’s aggression. That’s why once in a while they want to see female’s aggression because hot color tone of female gives them a cold to cool down their aggression. In Thai word, the most fearful situation is called ‘Klua Jon Ki Poong’ (Klua means fear, Jon means comparison, Ki means poop, Poong means stream out)—when shrimps are caught by fishermen, as they are extremely feared to die, their poops are shot out to their heads. However, don’t be too fearful, but keep in mind that mistress is a kind person.

Another mistress’ character is elegance. Mistresses always dress with fine clothes. However, this doesn’t mean that to be a mistress, women need to buy expensive clothes. Clothes of any price which give them a neat and clean look are suitable for women who have calm and elegant demeanor. In contrast to bad girls’ clothes, they always make them look dirty. Moreover, fine clothes are not durable to be worn by bad girls; their aggression and frenzy would tear them off easily because they are made of delicate materials.

Laura Bush is a mistress and her lips are always red.

Mistress is an honest person. She always talks straight, for example if she doesn’t like something, she will tell the truth.

Some men tell me that they want to buy something to surprise me. Many times I have to tell them that ‘don’t surprise me but they should ask me what I want to have because I don’t want them to waste money for something I don’t want’—then by saying that, I look like a bad girl for many men. My ex-roommate is different from me. She always lies to every man that she likes every thing she receives from men—then by saying that, she looks like a sweet person. However, after men leave her apartment, she often asks me, for example ‘do you like this shirt; it looks ugly. Who gonna wear this. If you don’t want it, I will bring to donate.’ I tell her—‘if you don’t like it, why don’t you tell him so he can return it to the store because he may still keep the receipt.’

Women who pretend to be sweet when they are with their men but often gossip them are not mistresses.

Sometimes I ask some men —‘do you want me do this or do that to you?’ My ask just intends to know what they like (or dislike) because we have known each other very little. However, they often yell at me—“mistress doesn’t need to ask, just do whatever you want to do”. They make me think that mistress is a self-indulgent person or a drama queen.

However, mistress always want to give the best thing to her man—that’s why men always trust their mistresses to do / prepare things for them.

Another thing that makes men trust a mistress and her ideas is her being well-educated. Bad girls, in contrast, don’t like education: going to school, for bad girls, is like going to prison which they always try to escape.

In Thailand, submissive men who are married to aggressive women sometimes are teased by their friends that—‘having a wife like having a second mother’. This is because ‘mother’, for them, routinely discipline and teach her kid(s).

Mistress doesn’t teach her husband but she uses the best of her education and knowledge in such as to help setting a future plan for her husband, controlling family’s finance, etc. Mistress likes working in male positions or some mistresses may never work but being a good supporter / consultant and suggesting good ideas for her husband. In Thailand, people compare this type of person to ‘front leg of elephant’. In ancient time, going to war, commander in chief will ride an elephant so ‘front leg of elephant’ will be the first to take a first step and give the right direction to go—it can be used with both male and female which means a leader.

Queen bee is a mistress. She never works but having many male bees work for her.

Mistress’ men are unlike mama’s boys. Mama’s boys like women who work or treat them like mother such as taking good care of household chores, cooking, laundry, etc. Mistress is not required to have a cooking skill; she can make a terrible dinner (or use her husband to cook for her).

However, men will never trust bad girls to set their future plans or control family’s finance. Because of having poor education, bad girls always lead their men to end up in future disaster, digging a hell around the house, etc. (Warning: If bad girls / bad boys are your type of sexual partners, you will never marry them. Only dating with them once in a while, they bring enough bad luck to you!)

Angelina Jolie is a mistress

However, it doesn’t mean that any woman who has these characters is qualified to be a mistress because there is still another important character. That is, mistresses must have a heart like men’s. They always understand their men. When men make mistakes, mistresses simply understand men’s problems and their needs. They always forgive them—and that is the reason men really love their mistresses.

Hillary Clinton is a mistress.

“If you want to know a woman, you look at her handbag. If you want to know a man, you look at the woman who comes with him.”

Clothes can’t tell much about a woman because she often changes her clothes in different styles based upon occasions, for example she doesn’t need to dress up elegantly when she goes to a supermarket, works in a farm or for the time she wants to be relaxed. However, women don’t often change their handbags; whether she goes to a supermarket or going out for a special dinner with men, she may carry the same handbag. So woman’s handbag can tells taste of a woman. In the same way, men are not fashion experts so clothes sometimes can’t tell anything about men. A man, who wears rag but comes with an elegant woman, would make people curious to know—what’s good about this guy, why this elegant woman chooses to come with him.

Mistress is like an expensive handbag made in Europe and men can’t afford to lose her. Bad girl is like a counterfeit handbag. Even though, they look similar, inside the counterfeit one is made of poor materials and has a lot less value. Therefore, men can’t be fooled to make a wrong choice in selecting a woman to be their partners.