Christine O’Donnell’s new political sexual position

August 20, 2011

Miss Christine O’Donnell is the most intelligent woman in the world and the first female ‘sperm-rights’ activist. She travels here today in a small town in Delaware to campaign her new idea to a group of guys. Her new idea, which she hopes one day will win her a Nobel prize, is that—‘GUYS, NO MORE MASTURBATION, OK?’

Since her new idea makes them confused, they begin to question her.

Glenn: Miss O’Donnell, may I ask you a question? Since I normally have higher sexual desires than my wife, some nights she doesn't want to have sex with me, so I need to masturbate by myself. But now you tell me not to masturbate anymore and so what can I do?

Tony: Miss O’Donnell, I have erectile dysfunction so I can't fuck. The only way I can get my job done is through masturbation. But you tell me not to do it anymore and what else I can do to finish my job?

Jack: Miss O’Donnell, I respect your idea and I do believe that you are intelligent. However, I am a divorced man and still have no sexual partner. Some days I need to masturbate but you think it isn't a good idea. So do you have any way that a divorced man like me can solve my sexual needs problem?

Andy: Miss O’Donnell, if I stop masturbating for a while, I would have a wet dream—is that against your idea too?

Brian: Miss O’Donnell, I have a question too?

Paul: Miss O’Donnell, I also have a question?

Joey: Miss O’Donnell, …

Eric: Miss O’Donnell, …

Miss O’Donnell: Oh guys, please calm down. I understand you have sexual needs as much as I too have my own sexual needs. It isn't difficult at all to solve the problem. You guys have an ASS, right? Just open your ass when you are horny, but—remember, DO NOT USE YOUR HAND, that’s all you need to do.

All the guys exclaim almost the same time—“Wow, she’s very intelligent.”

Mr. Morgan: Miss O’Donnell, we are now very comfortable in this position. But, may I ask you one more question—I wonder, is this the way you have normally done it successfully at home, every time you are horny?

Instead of Miss O’Donnell answering Mr. Morgan’s question, she quickly walks out.

Mr. Morgan: Miss O’Donnell, you didn’t answer my question. Where are you going?

Miss O’Donnell: Your questions remind me about my regular routine and it’s getting me horny. Can you give me a moment? Now I need to go and open my ass too.

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