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What gay men often misunderstand about straight men?

The first time I left my gay male life—forever, to live in a trans-world, many gay male friends have asked me curiously “are there many men want to have sex with a transgender woman?” Some gay friends, with love and goodwill, even warned me that “You can dress as a woman part-time. Don’t dress as a woman full time—the transgender life is lonely.”

However, since I have lived full time as a transgender, I have never once thought that I may want to go back and live as a gay man again and have never regretted my decision to have C-cup implants and to grow my hair real, long.

For me, transgender is not a lonely lifestyle. I have found it ten times faster to hook-up with a straight man than a gay finds it to hook-up with another gay man for sex—and this is the truth—my gay male friends never believe me.

Why gay men don’t believe that is there any man want to have sex with a transgender woman?

In American society, genders are divided; lifestyles are rarely connected to each other: gay men go to gay nightclubs, have gay friends… while straight men don’t go to gay nightclubs, and most of them don’t have a close gay friend to hang out with. This is the main reason that each gender doesn’t understand the depth of each other’s lifestyles. What each gender knows about others is only on the surface; most are things we have known for generations and never try to know more about others.

Gay men think that the transgender life is lonely and there are no men who want to have sex with a transgender because when transgenders hang out in gay nightclubs, gay men often laugh at them as freaks. Of course, men (in gay nightclubs) don’t want to hang out or have sex with a transgender. Therefore, ‘no man wants to have sex with a transgender’ is true only within gay areas—just like we think that lives only exist on the earth because we don’t know yet what happens in other universes. I used to live in both the gay and transgender life and I used to date both gay men (when I lived as a gay man) and straight men, so I know the difference between gay and straight men and what their differences of opinions are toward the transgender lifestyle.

Because transgenders are not welcome in gay nightclubs, it forces transgenders to hang out in straight nightclubs. Unlike gay men who hook up with other gay men, straight men treat transgenders as if they are real women—transgender women don’t need to even buy drinks for themselves. When going out on a date such as to a restaurant, a gay couple may have to share the cost of the food together. Going out on a date with a straight man, however, he will always be in the gentleman’s role: he will move a chair for his transgender woman, open the door for her and pay all the cost for food and beverages. Being lonely in the transgender lifestyle is absolutely untrue.

Some gay men dispute that straight men have sex with transgender women because they are closet gays and can’t find a man for sex.

This is absolutely untrue. For many years, I have questioned hundreds of men who have sex with transgenders, and all of them told me that—“if you bring a man for me to have sex with, I can’t/won’t do it.” Some men said simply—“I don’t like men.”

Moreover, when men hire transgender escorts/sex workers, they often question seriously before making a decision to hire her such as “Are you really passable? I don’t like a drag queen”, “Do you have breast implants?”, “Do you have real hair or wear a wig?”, “Is your body really smooth?”… This means that they look for a transgender for sex only if she looks like a real woman—not a male appearance. Therefore, gay men think that ‘straight men who have sex with transgenders are closet gays who are desperate in finding a man so he uses a transgender to substitute as a man’ is untrue.

Some gay men also dispute that straight men have sex with transgender women because they can’t find any real women for sex so they use transgender women as a substitute for a real woman?

Just like other gay men thought, before living as a full time transgender, I also used to believe that straight men had sex with transgenders to substitute for women.

If a transgender woman hooks up with a straight man in a nightclub for sex or an internet casual encounter, I would believe that he might be desperate in finding a woman so he uses a transgender woman to substitute.

However, if you ask transgender sex workers, they will disagree. Straight men don’t have sex with transgender women to substitute for anyone when it comes to sex for hire. People will pay money for what they like the most. If straight men want to find a woman for sex, it is easier to find a real woman than a transgender—more women work in the sex industry than any other gender, or even when men look for casual encounter in public places, women are easier to find everywhere while the number of transgenders is scarce.

Moreover, when men hire a transgender sex worker, they often ask seriously such questions as “Are you functional?” “Can you cum?” “How big is your penis?” If men have sex with a transgender as a substitute for a woman, why do they have to question seriously about the size of her penis. And the fact is, a transgender who can’t achieve an erection and ejaculate will enjoy less business, or perhaps go out of business.

The myth about the straight male gender: straight men don’t like a penis.

A long time ago, a married man visited me many times, until we became close friends. He is a real straight man who often told me about his long sexual experiences with women. He never once wants to have sex with a masculine man not even if he had the chance nor did he want to have sex with a drag queen—that he said. He enjoys having sex with only women and passable transgender women.

One day he told me about his past story, I was very surprised. He said when he studied in a college, as he was a football player, after finish playing football, he and his teammates took a shower together in the locker room.

“I look at my friend’s penis, it’s was very huge—it turned me on,” he said. “Then I looked at myself, why is my penis so small?”

As I was so confused, I asked—“Does your friend’s big penis turn you on?”

He admitted—“Yes.”

***Here is the big difference between gay men who love penis and straight men who love penis.

When gay men want to suck a man’s penis, gay men don’t obsess only the man’s penis but are first attracted to his general appearance (when gay men hook up with someone for sex, they will make a decision to have sex with that person based on their appearance rather than their sexual organ). When gay men talk about a man they love, they often talk about things such as “I like his body and six pack abs; his body is very lean. His face is very handsome. I like his short military hairstyle. His legs are very strong. His cologne smells good. His fashion style is so attractive. He is so masculine ….” If penis is the most important thing in making a decision to have sex with someone, why don’t gay men suck a transgender’s penis? Also, they don’t even want to suck an unattractive man’s penis. This means that the body type and appearance are more important in arousing their sexual excitement which leads to their decision in choosing someone for sex more than a penis.

When straight men say that they want to suck a cock, they don’t obsess with masculine body. Just like when the man told me that his friend’s penis is huge and turns him on, you can notice from his conversation, unlike gay men, he never talks about his friend’s body. He said only ‘a huge penis turned him on’. That’s why straight men don’t suck other men’s penis because other men don’t have the feminine body type that can arouse their sexual excitement. However, straight men will suck a transgender’s penis because the transgender’s feminine appearance arouses their sexual excitement which leads to having sex. The sexual excitement is very important—you can do any sexual session if your sexual excitement is aroused high enough to convince you. That’s why gay men don’t/won’t suck a transgender’s cock, because the feminine body turns off their sexual excitement. This means that the body type and the person’s appearance is more important than the genetic organs. In the same way, if a pussy is the most important thing in arousing sexual excitement for straight men, the question is “can men have sex with everyone, including unattractive women, just because that person has a pussy? As a straight man, do you want to have sex with a transmen whose his body is very masculine and he also has facial and body hair, just because he has a pussy?”

To know who is gay or who is straight, you can’t tell by which sexual organs they like to play with, rather which body type they feel sexual attracted to. If you ask transgender escorts/sex workers, they can tell you that both gay and straight men love sucking cock—so this isn’t the method to tell who is gay and who is straight. However, the different thing is, all transgenders know that gay men don’t like their feminine appearances as gay men often laugh at them when they hang out at gay nightclubs but straight men are attracted to their feminine appearance as they are welcome at straight nightclubs—here is the true difference. Therefore, the attraction to which sexual organs can’t be used to determine straight or gay gender, rather it is the attraction to which body type (masculine or feminine).

Why trans?

***Note: what straight men like for sex will highlight in red.***

Transgender combines two things in one body.

Read more information, deep details analysis, including true-life case studies from my book—“The Psychological & Social Barriers Behind the Sexual Secrets of Straight Men” by Half-Lady Lisa. Many stories in this book will surprise you.

If you like fun, fiction story, read my book—‘James Potts: #1 john in Boston’. James Potts’ life story is a case study about how straight men have changed their sexual partners from one gender to another. You will laugh nonstop.

© 2011, by ½ Lady Lisa. All Rights Reserved.